After 27 years of avoiding being one of those awful modern people with endless communication devices with them all the time…I have finally gotten a mobile phone albeit a second hand one form a dead guy.

And so to celebrate this great event I thought i’d take a few shots of myself posing as one must do with the afore mentioned phone. I also was browsing a clothing catalouge recently and as always found the various ‘we are so stylish and relaxed’ looking models amusing so I’ve take these photos in the style of a lower end clothing magazine hehe

The classic phone poser look.

For some reason I look like i’m about 10 in this photo o.O

The none phone one leg stance. A must for all male clothing models. (Also check out my perfect ass in these pants )

The one foot on rock, another must for suave men

The relaxed looking off into the distance guy. ‘If only I had my polo neck…I must have left it in my other BMW.’

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And now some proper shots taken when I went for a long hitchhike over to visit a fellow Webguy and pickup some site data. I also got to use my phone for a good reason on this trip since on the way home no one stopped to pick me up …for miles -_-

 

Wind Farms and forests. Many folks don’t like the Windfarms…but personally I think they look very pretty.

Peat cutting, a VERY old source of fuel in the Highlands.

It was a day of lovely purples, with lots of magical heather and road side flowers.

Rowan berries setting off the purple heather very well in this quiet valley.

It was evening and getting grey but the colour of these hills was still incredible.

 Oh also i’ve updated both my background collage and my header image, let me know what you think?

 

I was musing the other day on what it is to know someone well. To have a friend or close family member.

Why is it we rely on elaborate systems of politeness and ‘normal’ responses when we don’t know each other and then slowly bit by bit, as we get more comfortable we are able to share more of ‘ourselves’?

Well here’s my theory on this subject:

We are all somehow, due to our vast and incredible brains (and the even more vast and layered reality we are here to perceive) able to interpret this world uniquely. Considering there are over 6 billion humans out there this is pretty incredible, and yes there are demographics and patterns that seem to disprove this statement. But while we are subject to larger patterns and influences for various reasons, deep down within our own personal world i’m almost certain we are all doing something noone else is.

For one we all are blessed with an imagination, where nothing is limited unless we accept the limitation. Within an imagination the exact same information can be bent and reformed into truly endless shapes. Infact I will go so far as to say we are not just unique we are quite possibly totally alien to each other.

Think back to any argument that you’ve had when you suddenly realised that the person you were arguing with doesn’t hold ANY of the same beliefs or thought patterns that you do. That moment when you run out of ways to explain or share your point of view and just realise that no matter the words and concepts the other person just can’t think/feel like you and visa versa.

In one way or another we are in a sense isolated in our own worlds. And this isolation leaves us worried that if we were to just be ourselves we’d be at best mis-understood and at worst shunned or looked at as if we were insane.

So for the most part we all naturally build fronts and ‘personalities’ that are acceptable or understandable at least to those we regularly interact with, or for the environment we find ourselves. Hence certain jobs or cultures produce certain recognised ‘types’ of people.

But when we start to make a friend it’s just not possible to deepen the relationship without slowly revealing more and more about the unique world we each live in. For one the ‘fronts’ are complex and a bit flimsy so mistakes and inconsistencies mean that the closer you get to someone and the more they see of you the less a ‘constructed you’ will stand up to cross examination. And two as you get to know someone and they get to know you the safe zone for just how much uniqueness or oddness can be shown starts to expand.

Close family members can stand a good chance of seeing the uncut version of each other, but it can also go the other way since the vast amount of time spent on family relationships can also give the potential for fearsomely complex fronts to be built that are enforced by history and tradition so it’s not a sure thing that all family members know each other completely.

But with friends where you have started often from an adult age and well after you’ve settled on your usual ‘front’ you have perhaps the best chance to reach a nice balance where finally you can just be yourself with no fear (or at least trust in tolerance) with someone else. Inside jokes and just being able to be ‘silly’ with friends is an expression of the freedom we gain by reaching this level of trust. There might not be any other person or place we can truly express our unique world with or to without someone to share it with.

And this is also why betrayal or the ending of friendships can be so hard and wounding. Because it’s not just the person you are losing, it’s a part of you, it’s the ability to be free and un-edited without fear. And if that trust is suddenly broken then it once again throws up all the questions and worries that limit interaction with ‘strangers’.

Sitting as we are in these mind blowingly complex bodies and minds surrounded by an endless and beautiful universe, the very idea that somehow we can find others who are just as vast and share a little of our personal worlds is fascinating to me. One person can create so much it can fill volumes but if you can add just one more mind let alone several the multiplication is astronomical.

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A short story inspired by something I saw while hitching home, more to come when I get time. 

And thanks to Deanna for her recent short story that also go me tempted to finally write a bit again @xdeelynnx oh and i’ll tag @xxxlovelylollipop because i’m LONG over due for giving her more writing

*Added a second part*

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[1:Legs]

‘One foot after another’

It echoed like a mantra over and over in Harveys mind.

‘One foot after another…’

Everything was still around him, everything but the constant shimmering of liquid heat that engulfed the dust coated buildings and soaked into the black glistening tarmac. The air was heavy and the sharp tang of hot asphalt was all he could smell. He’d not seen a single living soul since he’s walked into town, other than an old timer sitting still and dilapidated on his rocking chair. Harvey couldn’t tell if the man had been alive but his eyes were closed and his face was more worn than the sand blasted building behind him so Harvey had moved on without saying a word.  

Town wasn’t really right to describe this tiny collection of ramshackle buildings and for sale signs. Relic seemed more fitting, or maybe ‘vintage’.

Harvey stopped for a moment and drew the back of his hand slowly over his forehead, sweat mingling with dust. He looked around him at the low buildings and scrub that rambled off in all directions cut through by the long straight jet black road. The sun was high and beat down with a tactile intensity, filling every exposed surface with its humming gold. Between the light where awnings or buildings got in the way the world vanished into an inviting inky cool blackness. As he slowly scanned the scene his eyes fell on one doorway. It was a small house squeezed in beside a side road and larger building, its entryway was hidden beneath a shaped stone arch that reminded Harvey of Adobe architecture.

The shadow cast by this awning obscured everything within with its abrupt black line. But resting on the stone pathway, lit with pale gold by the sun were a pair of bare legs.

They were pale and shapely clearly belonging to a young woman, who from this angle was entirely hidden from Harvey’s sight. Harvey paused and stared for a moment, the sight seemed so out of place. Like finding a flower growing in a lava field, his gaze passed from the legs to a large brown lump, that panted slowly on the yellow dust and scrubgrass lawn infront of the house.

Harvey savoured the scene for a few moments, then once again lifted his head to look down the long black road that faded into boiling heat haze in the distance. ‘One foot after another’

A few paces further down the road and Harvey stopped again. Turning he looked into the large brown face of the dog, it was panting slowly as it padded along behind him.

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 [2:Home]

“Harvey!…Come here boy”

The voice, like the legs came out from the velvet darkness of the doorway.

“Huh?” Harvey said looking from the dog to where the owner of the legs’ head should be.

Smoke swirled out of the blackness followed by a face. She was young, early twenties. Her face was delicate and pale with keen light grey eyes and jet black hair that flowed down to her shoulders.

“Where ya headed?” She asked returning her cigarette to her pale red lips and extending both her hands to stroke and massage the huge face of the dog which had plodded back towards her.

 

“Home” Harvey said jutting his thumb vaguely over his shoulder towards the long straight black line of tarmac. “Is that dog called Harvey?” he added still slightly confused by the whole situation.

“Yeah. It’s funny, he usually doesn’t move for anybody or anything, especially when it’s hot.” The dog looked back at Harvey then walked past the girl and into the cooling darkness. The girl straightened up and stretched arching her back and craning her neck so her face was bathed in the white gold sunshine. She was wearing a one piece yellow sundress patterned with white flowers. It gave the impression of tissue paper, light and flimsy yet it conformed to her body perfectly like crumpled silk.

 

“Wanna beer?” She held his gaze with her sharp grey eyes, her hands resting on her hips. “

Harvey paused for a moment then looked away, back towards the long hot road ahead. “Sure, I guess I have time.”

 

Inside, the house was simple and cool. Every window was small and deeply set into thick stone walls, keeping the interior refreshing and dark. Within each window alcove were tens of small and medium coloured bottles that caught the light and shimmered, glittering as Harvey passed them.

They entered a bare light grey kitchen, it’s only furniture a simple wooden table and two wooden chairs. Harvey took off his hat and coat as the girl opened the fridge and retrieved two beers.

 

Harvey noticed as she sat down and handed him one, the tattoos snaking their way up and down her arms. On the right an assortment of tiny intertwining devils and demons wove around each other and her arm, tumbling and pouring towards her hand. While on the left a similar assortment of angels and cherubs seemed to be rising towards her shoulder.

“Thanks, I really needed this” Harvey said as he admired the condensation collecting around the bottle neck.

“You’re welcome. So where’s home?…there’s nothing along that road for miles.”

“It’s out there, I ain’t in no rush” He took a long drink from the bottle, feeling the cold liquid burning from his throat down into his chest. “I’m Harvey…like your dog” He nodded his head towards the quietly snoring brown heap near the door.

“Kaylee. I wondered why you turned when I called him back. Maybe that’s why he likes you…So you been heading for ‘home’ long?”

 

“Kind of. I’ve been avoiding time so I’m not really sure how long it’s been, but yeah…it’s been a while” Harvey paused for a moment. “Did you name him?”

“Yeah”

“Why Harvey?”

“It was meant to be ‘Harley’ like the bike?…but I got it wrong so many times ‘Harvey just stuck” She took a sip of beer and looked over at the dog. “He seems to like it”

“Yeah it sounds about right for a dog. You ride?”

“I did, a couple years back. Never got too far though” She lit another cigarette, taking a long drag and letting the smoke slowly pool out of her into the still air.

 

Silence fell over the small room, Harvey watched her and the smoke. Kaylee raised one leg to her chest and closing her eyes used her arm as a pillow over her knee, while Harvey the dog snored peacefully in the corner.

 

This was the sky a couple nights ago

The mind is vast and limitless powered by imaginations brush there are no places or spaces we cannot touch.

But always we are linked and grounded by this physicality encased within our agreed reality, drawing a line of time from potentials dust without our history would we be lost?

I sit and fly so far and free, within there is no distance between you and me…but as I wake I clench my fist as where I am dispels the myth.

No magic here, no sepia light, the sun is out the sky is bright…but too much time spent in dreaming life makes this one seem a pale veil that grinds along with no heroic songs, no romantic meetings only radio 4 and awkward greetings.

Just been visited by our relatives for a few days, namely my Uncle, Aunt and Cousin.

These visits usually involve boaty things and engines since thats what my Uncle loves and this time was no different, so we even tried water skiing…it did not go well and none of us even got up on our feet hehe

But the trip was nice and here are a few rather random shots from around the general time, most interesting of them though will be the ones of my bro’s new legs!

He recently bought jump legs and has been getting to grips with them over the last few days…they are seriously awesome!

The place we tried to Water ski…thats not the boat we used, the boat they brought was a nice little classic motor boat thing…that i’ve forgotten the name of.

My Cousin

Water shimmers.

Near the Jetty.

My brothers awesome new legs!

 

They take some getting used to but once you are up they are sooooo much fun

And this was just a nice shot that I had on my SD card.

Hope everyone has been having a fun few days. The visit was good but as always has left me feeling tired and in need of some R&R…which mostly means computer games so Dragon Age here I come.

Oh also I have now got $160 in my Clickbnak account, it’s taken me years to get that much but now I know so much more about it I’m hoping i’ll be adding MUCH more to that number in the near future.

Right, random update complete ^_^

In fact take what you need.

I was getting an injection the other day to fend off any future lung infections and while waiting I was browsing the VERY boring medical leaflets that are often available in these places (more often than not used to passify the patients than inform and the most interesting one was about Organ Donation.

It got me thinking about the subject and to be honest I would quite like the thought of my internal gubbins going to some good use after my demise.

I’ve always kind of been not that bothered by the whole postmortem part of my existence…since by that time I’m pretty sure I won’t give a brass razoo what happens to my mortal remains. I vaugely like the notion of burial over cremation, or perhaps being dumped into the sea, but overall I really don’t mind what happens to me after death…just so long as they make sure I am actually dead

So I reckon thinking about it logically the best use of a dead body if possible is to harvest it for anything of value and help out those that are still alive and kicking.

But of course if you follow certain religions or have stronger preferences than my own i’m sure many people would be against such an idea, so whats your thoughts on the subject?

Do you think you or your family would care what happens to you after your gone?

Do you have a preferance or concept of what sort of funeral arrangements you’d like?

Or is this all just a bit grim and you’d rather not think about it?…if yes to this one then…sorry

Ooo also do you know or are you someone who has benefitted from a donated organ?

 

I need you…

You…that single point of inspirations light, a gentle kiss on a moonless night, a globe of unseeable, unattainable light that once held is no longer bright.

Your loss and lack makes hearts sore and drives your seekers to madness’ door.

But for that moment, that embrace such darkness is easy to face.

The shadows you cast are teasingly faint, bearing witness to your purity but reaching far too short, though just enough for like a moth we are caught.

I need you. I want you. I know you…your touch, your taste, your scent and embrace…but I can never find you, only ever left to seek and wait.

So be it then, if this is to be my fate then I am happy to wait…and wait.

Regards my love, yours forever with hope I wait.

Been ages since I tried any poetry…and to be honest I was never very good at it anyway but for what it’s worth here’s one.