January 22, 2012
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Different
So here’s the deal, I’m white, male and I live in the west in an almost entirely similar (ethnically speaking) area.
I’ve never been to school or spent much time mixing with social groups or the local culture, and although I’m not wealthy by any means I have never really struggled.
So this leaves me with many questions with regards to what it feels like to be drastically different.
Here are the particular things that i’m curious about:
First what does it feel like to be a different ethnic group? so black/white/asian etc in a predominantly black/white/asian etc culture? is it something that you are aware of or does it never really effect you unless there is someone with a racial problem?
Do you think it’s important to be connected to your ethnic or cultural identity? do you feel offended by stereotypes? are there some cultural types that you think are important to up hold?
I’m also curious about what it’s like to be female because sadly it’s still the case that in many places including the west there is a big difference between male and female roles in society. Such as pay and various rights.
So how much of an impact and awareness is it to be a woman in your country/culture? do you consider it atall? or is it just the way it is and never really crosses your mind?
Also I’m very curious as to the portrail of women in media and advertising. Most things are sold with a beautiful woman to advertise them how does that impact you as a viewer and person? What about in films where the majority of the heroes are men and the women are simply the supporting role or in the less intellectual films, just something pretty to put near the lug head hero or a fast car, is this just accepted or is it offensive?
There are of course many places and ways where things are more equal for everyone which is great
but for those times and places that it’s not so great, i’d love to hear what you have experianced and understood.
Comments (40)
I have always felt racially and ethnically diverse environments to be very fun and exciting. Food, women and song are the best parts.
Interesting. It’s normal to wonder about what it’s like as a female since we are different.
and I agree with @sometimestheycomebackanyway. Those diverse environments are interesting and exciting to experience. As for women being supporting roles in movies, it’s kinda offensive to me as a young woman. Yes, men have always been seen as a “hero” figure, but women are just as capable as being a hero as men are. Women deserve that chance too.
Toronto’s the world’s most multi-cultural city, so when I went back to Hong Kong, it was strange to see everyone exactly the same. Living in Toronto’s pretty amazing because of all the food and cultural festivals that go on continuously. Although everyone gets along, there is always inherently group mentality that exists among races. I personally think that it’s just what’s familiar that draws us together. Compared to the melting pot concept in America (where they all somewhat assimilate into the same culture), Canada’s more of a mosaic, where the differences make up the entire culture — which sounds a little redundant but it works and I love it.
Growing up in a predominantly white and Hispanic area as an Asian American has been a balancing act for me. For example, I speak Chinese with family and English with everyone else. I celebrate Lunar New Year and the Gregorian calendar new year. I’ve been learning to bridge the gap between my oriental and westernized roots, because both halves make me who I am.
I’ve also been an outlier my whole life–I’m a minority female scientist. It’s definitely easy to feel overwhelmed and give up, but I don’t go for the path of least resistance. I live for the challenge and find ways to move forward.
It’s good to be different, and I’m proud of my identity.
Ethnic identities is a huge thing for me. My Honors Program capstone project was about it.
I could ramble on and on about my thoughts on this topic and my family’s history, but I’ll just leave my comment short with this:
- I am ethnically Slovak and Croatian and that is how I describe myself
- I don’t call myself an American even if I have its accent and lived here for 17 years
- I love my identity and am PROUD of it
- I feel like defined cultures and traditions are dying at a dangerous pace, and it makes me really sad
Culture: I was born and raised in the U.S., and most of my family has been here since the Mayflower (slight exaggeration, but pretty close). As a result, we don’t have any cultural traditions. We’re 7 different nationalities, and sometimes I envy Italian Americans, German Americans, or any other group who lives here, but still feels a strong connection to the country they come from. I think a cultural identity would make family get-togethers and holiday celebrations so much more interesting.
Gender: As far as being female goes, I don’t give it much thought. I know our society is still a very sexist one, but I rarely think about it in my day to day life. One thing I do notice is my level of caution compared to that of the men in my life. I hate being by myself when I walk at night, when I go to a rest stop on a long drive, and when I’m going back to my car in a poorly lit parking lot. Most of my male friends, as well as my boyfriend, don’t have as much concern for their safety on a daily basis. My boyfriend was upset when I told him that a few years ago, I was concerned about taking a night class because of the long walk back to my dorm. He said that he rarely feels unsafe, and couldn’t imagine that kind of underlying fear.
As a woman, I’m offended all the time by the enterainment industry’s treatment of us. Dramatic TV is bad, but “reality TV” is even worse. When I see MTV shows in which those young women are wearing next to nothing and getting exceedingly drunk, I just think, “what a bad example!” And since I’m not among that demographic, I wonder how common it is. It’s downright depressing.
Being one of two asian students in large predominantly white public schools was tough because I constantly heard racist jokes and derogatory stereotypes mentioned in the hallways or said directly to me by ignorant people. I think it’s important to connect with your cultural identity because while I hated being the ethnicity I was (due to the bullying) as a young kid, I definitely learned to appreciate more and more things about my culture and ethnicity as I grew older. In order to help ignorant people better understand your culture, you have to get to know it first. America’s all about the melting pot, but I like the mixed salad idea better since it doesn’t imply that you should forget about your own cultural identity and just conform.
Well, I guess something you don’t experience (much) is sexual harassment.
That sucks royally. Imagine the most condecending bastard on the planet and how much you want to punch them. It’s like they’ve stolen something important to you and there’s nothing you can do to get it back.
The only thing that’s different about being Indian is the overwhelming pressure to be the best that comes from your parents. Indian adults are big on showing off their kids.
I quite like the Indian stereotype. Everyone automatically assumes you’re intelligent … they’re also automatically assume you’re emotionally damaged because they think your parents are trying to marry you off. But that means they’re nicer to you.
@sometimestheycomebackanyway - Yea I agree that more diversity is far more interesting
Thanks for adding me.
@xdeelynnx - Yea it’s quite fascinating just how different it can be in many cultures.
And even in places with a lot of equality there are still surprising oversights.
@suuperstar - Hmm interesting I like that concept of keeping the individual cultures intact while allowing them to share one country, sounds much better than trying to make everyone the same. At least with some surviving cultural identity you can get better understanding and tolerance.
So do you feel more at home in a culture like Toronto than when you visited Hong Kong?
@Sheegwa - It does sound complex but satisfying if you can balance it right. Plus you are getting a much broader world view surely, and perhaps even the ability to be more open minded than those who don’t have such differences.
Nice to hear that you’re proud of your identity too
I’ve never had much of an identity so it’s an interesting concept for me but not so much of an experience.
@Cestovatelka - Yes it is a shame when cultures and ethnicities start to fade or get diluted with a generalized often media version of culture.
I’ve noticed you are very proud of your heritage and thats always a nice thing to see, since it’s such an alien concept to me.
@NCTHope - Yea I see that, I mean it is more interesting when there is somekind of unique culture to add to a family…but also as much as it’s easy to overlook a family with no obvious traditions that can be linked to this culture or that culture, I suppose whatever a group of humans ends up doing is some form of culture.
Also thats a good point about the safety thing i’d not even thought about that, and the fact that it can even influence and change your thoughts and behaviour is just so frustrating.I usually feel unnerved in populated places lol a benefit of living in the wilderness for so long, but it must still be different for women.
@whyzat - Yea it has begun to annoy me more and more as i’ve been analysing media and films. I mean the average meat head hero isn’t a great example of men either to be honest but some of the female leads are just down right insulting.
As for ‘reality’ shows…well usually the whole of humanity doesn’t come out of those looking good lol
@niqohl - I’m sorry to hear you had to experience that :/
I like the way you seem to have come out of it though, not left hating but wanting to understand and be able to share understanding. Plus getting closer to your culture rather than wanting to avoid it.It must also be very hard not to judge the people who are bullying in that was very harshly, because as you say it is so deeply ignorant and blatantly unfair.
as other commenters have said it seems like shared individuality is the best solution.
Love the mixed salad idea though hehe
@Nushirox2 - No I can’t say that i’ve experienced much of that either :/
And wow again I’d not thought of that particular aspect of being a woman, that must be just down right horrible.
Hmm also the automatic assumptions is an angle that must be very interesting, in some cases annoying and insulting but also quite handy as you say in some ways.It must sometimes feel like people are just looking at you as a type rather than an individual sometimes though?
I live in an area where mostly everyone is white. It doesn’t really ever cross my mind. I was one of the only asian girls in my middle school and high school. I was never bullied or anything. Being the only asian girl, everyone knew me .. so good I guess haha
Thankfully the UK is pretty multi-cultural
. It’s pretty fun being both British, and holding onto my own cultural identity as well. I think the balance is most important though. Some people try to reject their cultural roots, some try to reject being British and just stick to their own race.
However, I think cultures can be mixed. Nobody is ever restrained to only one culture
. I feel both British, and Chinese.
Well… I was born in Bangladesh (a country with a comparatively homogenous culture), spent my formative years in the States (New York City, to be precise, with it’s multicultural backdrop), and currently reside in Bangladesh (where the cultural homogeneity was a bit more apparent due to my experiences in New York.) So…
First what does it feel like to be a different ethnic group?
- I don’t think anyone feels like they are a part of a “different” ethnic group. Only other people are part of a different ethnic group.
So
black/white/asian etc in a predominantly black/white/asian etc culture?
Not much, actually. Growing up as a member of a predominant ethnicity means one generally assumes things are the way they are. (I’ve manged to shock & horrify quite a few people here with my “crazy” culinary habits & practices.)
Is it something that you are aware of or does it never really effect you
unless there is someone with a racial problem?
I’m aware of people who are born & raised in Bangladesh being unaware of things because, and only because of my experiences in New York. This includes the unfortunate acceptance of views that are otherwise racist & sexist. It is especially upsetting watching… say… a woman trying to justify and adhere to traditional “values” that subjugate women.
Do you think it’s
important to be connected to your ethnic or cultural identity?
Connected? Yes. But not bound. One of my pet peeves revolve around the mentality “Since I am of the culture X, I must automatically adhere to arbitrary rule Y”.
Do you
feel offended by stereotypes?
Yep. People are people, and should be treated as such. The moment you start treating people as nameless, faceless automatons running on a few overly simple rules & ideas should also be the moment to reflect on the whole “do on to others…”-thing.
Are there some cultural types that you
think are important to up hold?
If by cultural “types”, you mean values & ideas, then yes. If you’re talking about stereotypes, then no.
I happen to try to pay as little attention as possible to pop culture these days, so I don’t think too much about stereotypes in the media, as far as women are concerned. I don’t ordinarily think of myself as a female, just as a person. The only time I really feel particularly different because of it is when I am at work and the guys are discussing certain things from a male perspective…like which female singers they think are hot, or how they need to have their prostate examined or something like that (which doesn’t happen that often, thankfully). I don’t feel any need to speak openly about female issues like tampons or bras or whatever, so I’m okay with confining those discussions to female-only groups.
I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be male. Is it awkward having something hanging off of you all day? I suppose you could ask a similar question about breasts, lol.
Being female is fun.. it’s not weird when people look at you holding another female’s hand. What about male? They absolutely think you are a gay if you hold another male’s hand
It’s such funny and awkward how most white people think or being racial when it comes to “Asian” .. they only know about how Asians are small-sized, chinked-out eyes, yellow skinned, and so on. They absolutely talk about East Asia only. Actually Asia is extremely large.
Anyway, I want to know how it feels to live in multi-races country so I would see some kind of different hair colours LOL
@SaintBlue1131 - Good question. I felt really comfortable in HK simply because everyone looked like me. But just the way I conduct myself or the manner in which I speak is significantly different from the locals, until I learn to assimilate. Both locations give me a sense of ease, and I feel like I channel two different sides of myself in the two locations. If forced to choose, I’d say Canada simply because I still feel like I’m from HK from my cultural enclaves.
I think my blog covers all of that lol ..my most recent one is entited hood and its short and sweet I think its important to stay true to your self and not worry about other peoples expectations
I’m pretty average in my environment, let me think about the female role that I can relate better lol I guess differences in my country are still very huge and well violence against women is still a huge proble around here so vulnerability and indefenssion are deal breakers in my culture. It has a good side though, guys tend to be a lot more protective around us, around women in general and specially with their partner, you know even the way my brothers are to me, very careful and protective.
I was born in Tokyo. I have changed schools every three years and have studied in Tokyo, Moscow, New Delhi and Mauritius. I went to international schools and Indian schools. My parents are from India. I am still trying to figure out where I belong.
Though I feel most comfortable with English, I speak Hindi, Marathi (two Indian languages), Japanese, basic French and can understand a little Russian.
Way back in 2nd grade (I am 24 now), some of my best friends were Australian, American, Japanese and Indian. So I feel pretty comfortable with everyone.
It has been fun travelling the world and meeting all kinds of people and staying amongst different cultures and people. I have rich experiences to draw from and cherish the memories.
I have had unpleasant encounters with people who judged me without knowing me, but I guess that could happen to anyone.
I’ve realized that basically people are people everwhere; they get up, go to work, take care of families, feel hurt, feel happy. Emotions and outlets depend on social and cultural conditioning, but once you go a little deeper, no one is really that different after all.
You should visit my hometown and experiencing everything.
@jennylovve - Thats good
I’m glad that places like that are out there, it shouldn’t be a big deal we all just should be judged as people.
@pika_whoosh - Yea it’s not so much of a mix WAY up in the highlands, but down south in england it’s quite impressive how varied the cultures are…and often places such as certain parts of Oldham i’ve seen even feel kind of like a different country.
Glad to hear you ahve a good balance, it must offer some interesting perspectives.
Happy NewYear btw
@Lakakalo - Wow thanks
that was a very comprehensive answer!
I like the way you look at it very much, like we are people not groups or types
hehehe love your different ethnic group answer too
@leaflesstree - Guys talk about their prostates with each other??!! that is NOT a conversation I would ever have lol :/
But overall thats good, it should be that we don’t feel like our gender or race or anything defines us unless we want it too.
Also it’s not like it’s just hanging off us ya know
But it can make some awkward sitting situations sometimes :S and then the even more awkward ‘surreptitious rearrangement’ lol
@fabolousclown - Hahaha thats true…but then I so very rarely want to hold another guys hand
hehe But yea Asia includes half the globe to generalise that sort of scale is just crazy.
But it does seem that Females have more emotional freedom than men often have.
As for Asians…yea thats very true, your eyes are massive for example
@suuperstar - Very cool
thank you for you input.
It sounds very interesting to have such a combination of distinct but merged cultures.
@KodeRedd - I’m off there to check it out right now
@xXxlovelylollipop - Hmm interesting I can see why the inequality is bad but I suppose there must also be pay offs such as the protective side.
Also you’re not avarage…you’re awesome! hehe
@arrian_strider - :-O WOW *is in awe* you know all that and you’re only 24!!!!
Thanks for sharing your point of view if anyone was to know about many cultures it’s going to be you
@RestlessButterfly - Hey Welcome Back
I assume you’ve gotten back from your trip? I hope it was fun
Sounds very tempting
perhaps someday…there’s lots of places and people I’d love to see on that side of the world someday.
@SaintBlue1131 - aw how sweet
@SaintBlue1131 - happy new year to you too c:
This post puzzled me previously as to how I could answer but basically: In my opinion, it doesn’t matter whether or not one gets brought-up in a place where all people share the same ethnicity, however, it is what the parents, siblings and overall community choose to teach a child about it. And by teach I mean the way they behave, mostly. I hope I’m not getting sidetracked here.
For example I’ve been brought-up in a place where people share the same ‘culture’ and yet not exactly share the same ‘race’. But thankfully, the people surrounding me treated others as such: people.
I am a short, gray haired granny and have worked all of my life and am now retired. I worked two and three jobs most of my life and neve rhad any trouble gettign a job, or an education. Ipaid for it all and raised my two boys on my own while their dead beat dad, my exhusband ran wild where ever he went.
My main job was teaching special education students who were a blessing to work with and have been retired for 17 years and am grateful to be retired.
So I do not feel I have ever been discriminated against and am in the same boat as every other old person in the USA.
Don’t know if that answers your question or not.
@nov_way - Sounds fair enough. Thats the way it should be people are people no matter what
@Grannys_Place - Yea
it does and thank you it sound slike you’ve had an interesting life thus far.
Plus you’re a granny who’s pretty damn nifty with a computer which is always nice to see
@SaintBlue1131 - Everyone is a type. I’m not too bugged by being sterotyped simply because I do it myself automatically. Just today I realised that I had automatically been scared of the school care-taker when I was little because he had tatoos. Eventually I’d gotten to know him but I often make assumptions about people, I think everyone does, so it would be pretty hypocritical (or however you spell it) of me to be upset by it.
I almost never mention online that I am Asian. Many years ago someone I was subscribed to wrote racist remarks about Asians, so I have been afraid to disclose it openly. I was born and lived my whole life in the U.S. so far, and although my community was predominately White when I was a child, over the years the Asian community has grown.
The university I attended was 60% Asian, so I fit well there, and nearly everyone there was open minded. But once on a hike an old White man assumed that I didn’t understand English, and didn’t seem to be convinced until my White friend said, “Yes, she does.” I just thought it was funny. Still, I constantly live in fear of racism, even though I haven’t experienced it much, but I know it still happens.
Although I feel I am Americanized, there are still aspects of me that aren’t, since people learn many things from their parents. My parents came to the states for graduate school, but English is their second language so there are many idioms and vocabulary words that I didn’t learn from them. My knowledge of food and preferences are heavily influenced by my mother’s cooking. Sometimes I don’t feel Asian enough, since I’m not fluent in my parents’ language and I’m not a stick skinny petite girl, among other reasons. (Well, the petite part is true but I’m not stick skinny.)
I just think it’s funny how certain White men have a thing for Asian women, since much of it is based on stereotypes and preconceived notions.
As for being female, in addition to feeling unsafe out alone after dark as some have mentioned, I do think there is pressure to look and behave a certain way. In my opinion, women are objectified quite often by the media. I’m not into pop culture much, and I think staying away from it protects me from the toxic effects it would have on my self-image. Of course, much of it is driven by the beauty industry, which makes money by preying on people’s insecurity.
@Nushirox2 - Thats a fair point
@naughty_virgin - Well then I really appreciate you posting here
And I hope you don’t have to deal with racist folks again.
I can see why being in a different country to your race, yet having grown up there could be quite confusing at times, esspecially if you’ve had to try and balance how much of each culture you learn/experiance.
And yea I was wondering about the pressure to be what the media portrays for women, I suppose as long as you just kind of ignore it there’s no problem it’s just when it’s something your exposed to regularly that it could be harmful.
Thanks for your comment it was very interesting.
my elementry and highschool were 90% chinese 10% black/white. so when i went to university, where it was 90% white, it felt really weird! i was usually the only asian in the class.. i was usually left out lol, last to be picked as a partner, and there were stereotypes, that i’m good at math, that maybe my english sucked, i had a curfew etc.. all are untrue! hah
then i graduated and went to work, everyone at my work was black.. the teachers, and the students.. all black. entire centre only had one asian kid. so i had to learn to adapt really quick, lots of cultural differences, they have their lingo, they do things differently.. one thing i hated, was they always thougth i was rich, and i’m not lol. and they were kidding too, they’ll tell me “can you move your car, it’s block the parents coming in to pick up their kids.. can you pls move your bmw.” i don’t even drive a bmw lol. i rarely even drive to work, i share a car with my bf lol. they always tell me how lucky i am to have my life sorted out. just cause i’m chinese they assume i did everything properly, went to school, found a boyfriend, got married, had a kid.. i didn’t do those things in that order lol. and a lot of things in my life are not sorted out yet lol.
. i love being a girl, i can get away with so many things haha.. but it’s only fun until you’re done school and get into the real working world. i just realized last month there’s still that inequality at a work place. there’s that harassment policy so everyone treads lightly around any discrimination possibility, but certain things are still obvious, the wayt hey look at me.. and ask me certain things, i know they judge my ability at work because i’m a girl. and i know i look younger than i am, so that makes things harder too. they’ll want to spend more time on me cause theyt hink i’ll need more help, or some will spend less time on me cause they think it’d be a waste to invest any energy to train me.
anyways, you asked a lot of questions, i dont htink i answered them all, but you asked some really interesting ones, just made me want to ramble a bit
@Joanna_said_SO - And I really appreciate your answers
I’m a big fan of a good ramble lol 
Wow such a varied experience, you’ve had a pretty good example of different ethnicities…I’m so disconnected from all that stuff that I really didn’t know half the stereotypes you mentioned were associated to Asians or Chinese.
As for being a girl yea lol I have to admit there are so many reasons why I really do envy women. But the whole working inequality must be hard to deal mainly because I would think it sort of makes you think less of the people who do it…I’d certainly judge them very harshly if I was someone acting that way.
But thanks again for chipping in.
Well if anything most of the answers to this post have just made me more curious lol