December 17, 2011
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R*E*S*P*E*C*T
It’s what it’s all ’bout Yo!
No don’t worry i’ve not become a rapper I just had a realisation the other day about Respect.
So basically I was feeling quite low. A combination of winter darkness, cold weather and general apathy sent me into myself a bit more than usual and I was becoming short with my family and generally moping. I also have a bad habit of talking without projecting so everyone has to keep saying ‘What?’ which just annoys me more so I get sarcastic and even quieter.
But then I started to get annoyed at my own depression and began thinking about it (plus thanks to sweet and friendly Xangans I had a few good days) and I realised that it all came down to Respect.
You see I had stopped respecting myself and so I stopped respecting others and the world around me, so I acted out and became quiet and rude. And this in turn fed back into my lack of self respect and so on.
The thing is that if you look at good manners, politeness or better the concept of a Gentleman (or lady) you will see that the more respect someone shows to those around them or their environment the more they resemble someone who embodies the principles of being a Gentleman or Lady, there is a film called Blast From the Past (with Brendan Frasier in it) which has a wonderful quote on what it is to be a Gentleman or lady:
Eve: Now hold on, hold on just a minute! In the first place I do not fall in love with weirdoes who I’ve only known for four or five days!
Troy: Yes you do.
Eve: And I don’t fall in love with grown men who collect baseball cards!
Troy: Yes you do.
Eve: Or pee in their pants when they see the ocean!
Troy: Yes you do.
Eve: Or have perfect table manners!
Troy: You know, I asked him about that. He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn’t know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?
Eve: What?
Troy: He thinks I’m a gentleman and you’re a lady.
Eve: [disgusted] Well, consider the source! I don’t even know what a lady is.
Troy: I know, I mean I thought a “gentleman” was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible.
Eve: Where do you think he got all that information?
Troy: From the oddest place – his parents. I mean, I don’t think I got that memo from mine.This is beautifully put and I think is a VERY important lesson, which is that to show respect and to care for the world beyond ourselves opens us up to being an active part of everything around us and the less respect we have the closer we come to the less evolved or refine parts of society.
Respect is not just about bowing at the right time or not offending the boss, I’m taking it more in the way that someone of great skill will respect what they do, respect their tools or their traditions. Martial arts train you not only to be precise but often also a code of honour and respect that forces you to take your time and to focus on every moment and detail, all of which is vital for learning the proper way to approach learning but also how then to control the ability you gain.
And that’s the thing I finally realised, Respect gives you time, makes you take responsibility for what you’re doing and how you are doing it. It slows you down and makes you consider the many layers at play in everyday life. And since then although I’ve not been perfect I still talk low and can get snippy, but i’ve not felt lost or depressed as I had been doing, I’ve be aware that even if a goal or plan for the future might be elusive, when every moment can be taken at a proper pace, when every conversation can be approached with the intention of being a Gentleman (or lady) then your life is full and your goal is simply to be ever more respectful and honour the life you have.
Comments (15)
Loved the quotes! And yes, show yourself respect
It makes sense that if we respect ourselves we’ll respect others.
I love that you pulled something out of Blast From the Past – such a cute movie!!
And respect is a wonderful thing. Great post, Bede
aretha franklin!
haha, it’s ok bede. we still love you! no one can be nice and cheerful ALL the time…that’s unhealthy.
i respect this post. and you.
respecting yourself is number one in my books: never do anything you would look down on yourself upon. this guarantees you can walk with your head high, and that in turn makes you happier.
respecting others is also something that is common courtesy. yes it’s not expected nor is it warranted. but it’s something that pays you back with interest. it’s amazing what a simple smile can do.
I respect you so much dear Bede. For you there’s nothing in me but respect and true friendly luv. You’re a gentleman my friend and I’m so happy and honored to have someone like you in my life
Thank you for the insight. Smile
Respect is so important. There seems to be little in our world today.

Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Blast From the Past is one of my all-time fav movies!
HUGS!
“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” BY STACEY CHARTER
I really liked this post. I still think nice is boring. I cannot be mean in the real world, xanga is my outlet. Remember, comedy is meant to mock, and people should learn to laugh at themselves.
@jennylovve - Thanks
Yea it’s a cool movie.
@drawmafreezone - Yea I often over look that bit, but it all often starts within.
@Cestovatelka - Thanks
Yes I love that movie i’ve watched it many times lol
@wyrdkismet - Hahaha “Is she sweet?…I like sweet…not too sweet because that can make you sick” George Costanza – Seinfeld
Hehe Yea don’t worry I can have my bad days too
@promisesunshine - :D <3 Thanks!
@suuperstar - Very well said
Thank you! as is often the case commenters say what I want to say in MUCH less words lol.
@xXxlovelylollipop - Oh my god thats so sweet!
Thank you Nadia I honestly don’t feel I deserve such kind words, they really do mean a lot to me as do you <3
@forwhatitiswurth - You’re welcome
thanks for your comment.
@AdamsWomanFell - I’m glad you’ve seen it too
It’s such a warm hearted film, just like you.
Hope you’ve had (are having) a fun weekend.
@RestlessButterfly - Very wise indeed, thats a nice neat way of putting it
@RulerofMasons - Thats a good point, I can’t imagine why you’d ever get bored of being nice though.
But variance and difference is what makes humanity incredible, so I can’t judge you on that.
As for an outlet, sure thats another way to approach it…but your outlet is filled with real people too. And yes humour and comedy is soooo important I also can’t disagree with it’s value…but given the chance to make people laugh and feel good…or laugh and feel bad seems like there’s only one choice there.
It’s the laughing with, or laughing at difference…but again having just watched a Bill Hicks documentary, comedy can also be very harsh and sharp, it all depends on the audiance and the effect you wish to have on them.
@BFB1131 - haha i find that the comments i get on my posts are often better than my post itself =)
interesting.
@DivaJyoti - :)