December 17, 2011

• R*E*S*P*E*C*T

  It’s what it’s all ’bout Yo!

  

  No don’t worry i’ve not become a rapper I just had a realisation the other day about Respect.

  So basically I was feeling quite low. A combination of winter darkness, cold weather and general apathy sent me into myself a bit more than usual and I was becoming short with my family and generally moping. I also have a bad habit of talking without projecting so everyone has to keep saying ‘What?’ which just annoys me more so I get sarcastic and even quieter.

  But then I started to get annoyed at my own depression and began thinking about it (plus thanks to sweet and friendly Xangans I had a few good days) and I realised that it all came down to Respect.

  You see I had stopped respecting myself and so I stopped respecting others and the world around me, so I acted out and became quiet and rude. And this in turn fed back into my lack of self respect and so on.

  The thing is that if you look at good manners, politeness or better the concept of a Gentleman (or lady) you will see that the more respect someone shows to those around them or their environment the more they resemble someone who embodies the principles of being a Gentleman or Lady, there is a film called Blast From the Past (with Brendan Frasier in it) which has a wonderful quote on what it is to be a Gentleman or lady:

  Eve: Now hold on, hold on just a minute! In the first place I do not fall in love with weirdoes who I’ve only known for four or five days!
  Troy: Yes you do.
  Eve: And I don’t fall in love with grown men who collect baseball cards!
  Troy: Yes you do.
  Eve: Or pee in their pants when they see the ocean!
  Troy: Yes you do.
  Eve: Or have perfect table manners!
  Troy: You know, I asked him about that. He said, good manners are just a way of showing other people we have respect for them. See, I didn’t know that, I thought it was just a way of acting all superior. Oh and you know what else he told me?
  Eve: What?
  Troy: He thinks I’m a gentleman and you’re a lady.
  Eve: [disgusted] Well, consider the source! I don’t even know what a lady is.
  Troy: I know, I mean I thought a “gentleman” was somebody that owned horses. But it turns out, his short and simple definition of a lady or a gentleman is, someone who always tries to make sure the people around him or her are as comfortable as possible.
  Eve: Where do you think he got all that information?
  Troy: From the oddest place – his parents. I mean, I don’t think I got that memo from mine.

  This is beautifully put and I think is a VERY important lesson, which is that to show respect and to care for the world beyond ourselves opens us up to being an active part of everything around us and the less respect we have the closer we come to the less evolved or refine parts of society.

  Respect is not just about bowing at the right time or not offending the boss, I’m taking it more in the way that someone of great skill will respect what they do, respect their tools or their traditions. Martial arts train you not only to be precise but often also a code of honour and respect that forces you to take your time and to focus on every moment and detail, all of which is vital for learning the proper way to approach learning but also how then to control the ability you gain.

  And that’s the thing I finally realised, Respect gives you time, makes you take responsibility for what you’re doing and how you are doing it. It slows you down and makes you consider the many layers at play in everyday life. And since then although I’ve not been perfect I still talk low and can get snippy, but i’ve not felt lost or depressed as I had been doing, I’ve be aware that even if a goal or plan for the future might be elusive, when every moment can be taken at a proper pace, when every conversation can be approached with the intention of being a Gentleman (or lady) then your life is full and your goal is simply to be ever more respectful and honour the life you have.

   

  • 5:37 pm
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