I offer my words as symbol of my thoughts, to give my gratitude and reveal my heart.

With your beauty and your truth you play with words to bring them formless shape, often what you create cuts like glass and leaves you bloody.

But like true heroes you rise again and wear your scars as testament to the depth of your emotion.

From gentle fields to the blood soaked somme, for generations your kind have come and gone, but your words will live on.

You gave them life, you breathed them souls, and you set them free that they may fly.

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Realizing the risk of honouring proper poets with my own attempts, i dedicate this to the poets of Xanga.
So many amazing poets share their gift with us, and often it’s hard to properly show appreciation or even come up with a fitting comment.

So please know that I am so grateful to you for giving words beauty, freeing emotion and then sharing it for free with everyone.
There are too many to list of course but here are a few i particularly enjoy:

@somewhatabstractelf Shes one of my most favourite because her style is so unique and interesting.

@adamswomanfell When she post poems they are always incredible, lovely and usually funny

@willowshollow Dark often violent but also beautiful, perhaps she appeals to the horror fan in me

@corvyusmorte Another one for the darker poems, but undoubtedly skilled and talented.

@opticalnoise What list of poets would be complete without her open, honest and so amazing with words.

@justjase Yay a guy made it on the list lol Jase is actually published! and with good reason.

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I am honoured to be able to experience your ability as i believe it is a unique and often double edged gift.
Thank You Poets

Having spent a considerable amount of time off in digital worlds or those of my minds creation, I often find myself relating to the ‘real’ world through the filter of digital rules.

One of these that i find particularly tempting to my mind is the limits of reality.
In a computer game they try to create a real seeming world via illusion, but due to the lack of resources and often lack of effort it’s not that hard to find errors or limits to the possibilities within game worlds.

To enjoy the illusion it’s best to ignore these errors and let the world draw you in, but still our pattern recognition system in our minds constantly throw up warnings that somethings out of place.

Now the fun begins when you apply this sense that something might be ‘out of place’ to THIS reality. What if you spotted the reality error in real life?
Not a ‘neo’ ;P concept of course much has been made of such thinking in various Sci-fi stories.

But sometimes me my dad and bro will get into never ending metaphysical discussions, and during these sometimes it feels like if you just study reality enough somehow somewhere you’ll find a mistake or glitch or something that just dosen’t make sense.

So far it turns out reality is incredibly perfect and beautiful, but you never know maybe someday someone will find something that dosen’t add up….and then well, then things will get interesting.

By the way, Todays Angel was my favourite, but i didn’t get chance at a proper machine and the device i’m on can’t post pulses >:( so….. Todays Angel:Eloquence.
To speak with beauty and clarity, is and has been a desire of mine for years. (one i’ve yet to master)

The truth is i’m lonely, the truth is i’m afraid, the truth is i’m selfish, the truth is i don’t care.

The truth will make you strong, the truth will expose your weakness, the truth was hard to hide so we learned to speak.

The truth is out there, the truth will set you free, the truth dosen’t change for you or me.

The Truth is?…….I just wrote this to get closer to a true badge

Due to a stunning lack of self control if i mix Xanga and the time i use to earn online…a lot of Xanga gets done, but very little else :S

So to try and control this a bit i’ve decided to spend a few weeks simulating working for ‘someone’ rather than myself by giving myself an actual time for work, during which i do nothing but work.
This along with my usual schedule of various entertainments has reduced my Xanga time during the day

But of course i can’t stay away from Xanga and all my friends for too long, so i try to either hop on briefly during ‘break’ times or more usually at the moment at night via my 3DS.

And here is where we get to my point (oh yes, i did have one ;P) the 3ds seems to use a browser that cannot leave footprints :S
Which is annoying because i like the footprints system, but the worst thing is that some folks (like one or two of my friend list) have turned on Footprint Lock and so when i’m trying to catch up on all the latest i get blocked :/

So I ask that if your willing could you please check your security options and turn off footprint lock?
I understand if you want to secure your blog and of course all other security should remain….but i’m not exactly sure what the purpose of footprint lock is, i mean if you have sign in or friend lock already on the why limit someone who just dosen’t leave a footprint?

Unless theres something cunning i’m over looking i can’t see the need for that level of protection, i’m guessing most of the time it just gets turned on along with other security measures.
So if that is the case i’d appreciate folks who know me switching it off, unless of course you know what it’s for and it has a good use or you turned it on by choice, because my convenience by no means comes before your protection

Hopefully i’ll be using normal systems as much as possible and leaving footprints like normal, but it just sucks to want to check out someones interesting post and get stopped by the darn footprint lock.

Thanks lol only been less active on here for a day or two and i already miss everyone so much.

So, Hows everyone doing? drop a comment and let me know whats new!

With apologies once again to both Grammer boy and Blogicus Maximus, who have both asked for drawings that i’ve yet to get the time for :S here is another hero for the legion.

This one is a special case that i had to jump to the head of the que due to the Xangan it’s of having had a bit of a harsh time, so after you’ve stopped by here and rec’d of course go visit her and give her some love, or just comment it here if you can’t get to her site due to friend lock.

@jmeLove_x
Angel~Wing
The night was cool and quiet, the only sound was that of the gentle breeze through the scrub.

A young woman walked slowly out under the blanket of stars, she’d been driving for hours and needed the break. The road was empty for hundreds of miles in both directions, she was alone just her and the still desert.

She didn’t know why she’d chosen here to stop, other than a strange sense of peace it was an unremarkable stretch of highway, but unknown to her she was being drawn to this spot, to this time, to this beginning.
Suddenly it was as if the stars them selves were falling, light oozed from the black sky and gathered form as it fell, untill it was a solid oval of burning gold that tore a shimmering path to the desert floor.

When the girl reached the spot she found nothing but a man clothed in simple white robes and surrounded by a mat of gently glowing feathers.
The ‘man’ despite apearances was not human and could not speak, but it was clear that it was dying. Within it’s eyes was a timeless creature facing death, and although it was calm it also expressed very human fear.

The girl stayed with the dying creature simply holding it in silence. After sometime the light within its eyes began to fade, and with his last moment he drew his hand across the womans side, as he did the feathers that surrounded his body glittered into flame, and with the creatures death AngelWing gained new life and new ability.

Where she had been touched elaborate patterns of tattoos formed and AngelWing gained fantastic powers. Now able to fly at high speeds with glowing wings of light that form from her tatoos and become invulnrable within a protective sphere of light she has turned her skills to the protection of others and freedom of all.

When forced to fight she can generate searing stars of energy, regenerate almost all physical damage with in a few hours and see the truth of any situation.

For so long (and still to this day a little bit) I was under the impression that there was a ‘normal’ that somehow despite all the possible ways to live and think that somewhere within there was this basic accepted ‘normal’.

But of course there isn’t we are everyone of us totally weird, odd, strange and unique.

As i’ve mentioned before (i think) one of my favourite ‘compliments’ was when my cousin said “your just so weird!!” and she was right but to be honest she’s pretty damn odd too ;P

It’s kind of comforting that despite there being billions of us and our tendency to fall into patterns and habits, we still all manage to retain a little (and for some of us a lot) bit of individual strangeness.

It’s what makes the net so wild i suppose, a place of shared privacy where you can let all your quirks have life and explore the odd world of others.

‘Fit in’ if you feel you have to in real life but don’t deny your weird when you get the chance it’s what makes life taste sweet, and your not alone because ‘normal’ is just an illusion anyway.

It’s a shame that Xanga dosen’t warn you when someone in your Friend list leaves the site.

A few people i’ve know have just quietly vanished and i usually only notice when i’m scanning my Friends list and by the second run through begin to wonder where they went

So I hope you’ll join me in raising a glass to those who no longer call Xanger their home, I wish them well but i also wish they’d come back

Who do you attract?

Each blog and blogger has their own theme and personality, sometimes it’s very particular such as mono bloggers (those that post only one type of thing) sometimes it’s more flexible but themed like when you blog about lots of stuff but with one overriding believe or style.

For me although i do have a style, it’s still a bit vauge. Mainly because i don’t do anything solidly enough to make it a theme, but also because my life thus far hasn’t given much focus to strong opinion or specific personality.

Because of this i’ve noticed some interesting things going on in my mind as i’ve been blogging.
For one since i sometimes have been blessed with a few well timed posts that have received a decent amount of traffic, which have often resulted in a few new friends adding me, this is of course brilliant but then leaves me feeling a bit bad when i move off the theme or subject that originally attracted the people who added me, and get onto something often entirely different.

Of course it’s often the person and mind that you add someone for not their theme, but still i get a sense of ‘pressure’ to do whats expected by my subs and friends, perhaps it’s just me being too concerned by what others think, but if i don’t keep changing my patterns on Xanga and keep exploring new styles and approaches then not only do i tend to get a bit bored and run out of ideas but i also begin to feel like i’m being moulded into someone thats not entirely honest to who i am.

It often seems to me that what we ‘do’ can help to form our minds and personalities, simply because there is a certain ‘type’ of person who fits certain roles so either through suggestion or just because thats what happens, we re-form into that type of person when we spend time in that role.

And i think it’s the same with Xanga, as we develope our style and grow our groups of subs and friends we start to build a kind of sympathetic world around us that reflects our personality and helps to strengthen it.

Theres nothing wrong with this process it’s how groups and communities start, but it can make me feel a bit trapped because when i start to feel my environment change my sense of ‘me’ I tend to panic a little and feel like i’m somehow being dishonest. So i don’t think my site will ever be all that solid in its focus and i’m sorry to anyone who may have thought i was something i’m not, you never know maybe i will be again soon

Do you look for someone similar to your own mind and style here on Xanga? or do you try to mix it up?
And what sort of blog do you try to create? do you try to stick to something themed? or try to vary?

Blood was (and still is) one of my favourite PCGames is really old something like 1997 was it’s release date but I still think an awesome game.

Here’s a very short Halloween story based on the game, it’s referances will mean very little to those who havn’t played it but i still kind of liked it’s neat-ness.

Apologise for my terrible punctuation :S this was writtena while ago.

The town of Bleakburg is situated in the pentagram quarry, a formation
of five hills carved into claw like points decades ago by some unknown people,
built on the ground once known for a massacre of innocents and now home
to a population of 500, 300 Undead and the rest there twisted masters.

The date is October  31, and in the Huge dark ceremonial barn the towns
folk are meeting,

“he is coming the  betrayer” a murmur went through the room
“what can we do” Losmak the town mayor spoke up

“we must defend our town
and our ways the memory of the One That Binds the Devourer of Souls must live on”

“get weapons wake the dead! we shall hold every house!!”

As night fell doors locked windows barred weapons in every hand, Losmak peard out of
a Knott hole down the main street the fires inside and lanterns out of the houses flickered
shadows across the street, as he turned away the crack of gun fire drew him back to the view
the first house at the end of the streets lights where now out, he called to the others down stairs
“pretaanluxis ” (living dead) and listened to the growling moans as six shambling corpses
left the house the door secured behind them.

he looked again two more houses had gone dark, he listened crunching of feet on gravel, sputtering
of flame, a scream broke the night “AAAAAHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS” a flaming figure shot
out of the house three down form his and explodes showering the fence on the other side with
blood and melted flesh two zombies turn to pick through the mess, Losmak screams orders to
the guards down stairs and listens to them thumping about checking windows and doors.

suddenly as a gentle wind rustles the long-dead trees lining the  street he hears a voice a soft dry
voice murmuring almost hypnotically “I’ve got you under my skin I’ve got you…..” it trails off
as a huge explosion shakes the house the front wall of the house two from Losmaks tears out
flame and wood skittering across the road the zombies move quicker and disappear behind the burning
ruin the night shudders with the blast of shotguns then quiet, Losmak checks his guns are loaded
then rechecks the house next to his rocks with gun shots and shouts “cruo cruento pestis”
“malax exim’ha AAAAAHHHH”.

Suddenly there is a loud thump on the back door of Losmaks house 
three men and four zombies are sent to check it out they leave slowly torches held high shotguns and
Tommy guns held tightly, on the door is a large blood stain and lying on the back steps is the  severed head of a zombie the small group approach slowly, one of them bends to grab the dripping  remains and as he dose he see’s that the eyes are glowing red, there is a beep and a fire ball  engulfs the hole group spattering them on the back wall of the house as it dose the ground floor  window on the right hand side of the house explodes in, searing flame following it, Losmak waits in  the candle lit gloom hearing the massacre below then silence, silence all but for the slow but certain foot steps coming up the stairs.

stealing himself Losmak grips his pistols and aim’s at the door with the first sign of movement
Losmak fire’s and keep firing until his fingers are pressed white on the trigger’s,
smoke fills the black opening for a moment nothing, then the unbeliever, the chosen, Caleb
emerge’s from the swirling smoke in one hand he holds a Tommy gun a thin trail of smoke
issuing from its barrel in the other a shotgun both hammers lifted,
with a cold smile Caleb locks Losmak with his dead red eyes and ask’s
“Trick or Treat”