May 18, 2012

• Holy Moles!…I have Faith??!

  

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  Funny thing is I only noticed that I had it when I began to lose it.

  A while ago I met someone new online and as is the way I started to get to know her better sharing stuff and hearing about her life. But as is sometimes the case hers was not the most happy story and the more I heard and tried to help (in the only way one can at distance, with support and advice) I began to realise that there was just no point, there was nothing I could say or do to effect any real change…and further more it just wasn’t fair.

  I’m not perfect nor is my life…but it is pretty blessed compaired to some, i’ve never really suffered anything even close to some of the events in others lives. And this person, this decent, kind, funny friendly person who like everyone else deserves just as much freedom, kindness and love as we all do has had to endure not one but several crule and unpleasant torments both physically and mentally.

  I do not believe in a God as somekind of other being that is out beyond us. I have not been exposed to any form of organized religion, but I am spiritual and do think there is something more to this reality something that can be neatly encapsulated as ‘god’ and further more I also credit some validity to the extra abilities that are described in the sort of new age (and ancient) type stuff like distance healing and the effect of our energy bodies on others and our reality.

  But during discussion with this person and taking into account other recent situations where my belief in these more ‘magical’ things in life have been shaken it began to dawn on me that all I really have is my belief, I have no proof that I can trust 100% the only thing I have is the feeling in my heart that some things are right or more important to focus on than others.

  But faced with such glaring inequalities and random cruleness I was left spiritually wounded and lost.

  Luckily I am also blessed with a very wise father who has spent far more time with these issues than me and when I finally brought the subject up he pointed out that it is that reaction of loss and pain that is part of the problem. For example if you read in the news about some terrible crime commited on the innocent you (or certainly I) are filled with a desire for justice, either lawful or even vigilante…and I have to admit there are certain crimes that leave me musing for several minuets on the often brutal justice I would bring down on those responsible.

  But if you look at that situation from another perspective what is it you are doing?…you cannot help directly either way, so in truth you are given a choice 1:you can bring more violence and anger into your mind as a result of something of the same nature…or 2: you can somehow try to find a path for love or forgiveness and with that transmute darkness to light.

  And perhaps this won’t help anything beyond you I cannot proove that, but I know it will help you…it’ll help me, rather than being defeated within myself by the unfairness and pain I can take it and use it to temper my own spirit and proove the power of forgiveness and love within myself.

  After this conversation and being once again reminded that despite all appearances we are not powerless, this is when it suddenly crystalized and I realized I truly don’t know a damn thing, but I do have faith, and we are better with it than without it…no matter what you have faith in as long as you have a connection to that inner sense you are given strength and support.

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  No miracles for me though…so far

  But since becoming aware of this I have been more solid and comfortable within myself, which is miracle enough for now

   

  • 8:26 pm
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