February 6, 2011
-
Loneliness and the Universe
Due to a couple of recent posts by others and the fact it’s never far from my thoughts i’ve been considering loneliness.
It’s a very hard thing to actually identify, personally I like peace and quiet and have spent my whole life more or less isolated from large groups of people, but i’ve also pretty much always had my close family around me so i’ve not been ‘alone’, despite this though i do more and more feel lonely., And this feeling can manifest it’s self in many ways most of which resemble either frustration or melancholy.
The thing is that even when i’m with other people i can still feel just as lonely, sometimes i’ll simply feel dissconnected and captive within my own mind and thoughts unable to share my experiance with others due to shyness or lack of mutual understanding. But also I can long for my own space, freedom and privacy when with others and sorely miss feeling alone.
My best explanation to this rather hard to pin down emotion is based on the concept that in truth all we have is our experiance, as far as we know there is nothing beyond our perception and there’s no way to proove otherwise. What denotes our ‘perception’ is hard to say but the idea that everything and everyone we percive is in fact only our version of them or even just other expressions of a total oneness makes for some even more confusing interpretations of feeling alone.
Are we feeling alone just for our own amusement?
Are we feeling alone because in one way of looking at the idea of everything being one, we are?
Or is it just a miss interpretation of a total connection to all things?
Once again i really don’t feel like i have the right words to express this so for example: There is a fascinating Hawaiian healing technique called Ho’oponopono, which basically involves sitting somewhere (or even while your going about your day) and focusing on something or someone and expressing in your mind “I Love you, I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me, Thank You,” these four statements and the emotions of Love, understanding, gratitude, and appreciation, (among others) that they represent, if held with enough focus and intensity have been seen to achive some incredible things.
The concept is that there is no dissconnection between people, that if you know of someone within your perception; be they right next to you or a person in a news report you just saw while eating breakfast and that person is in trouble or suffering then you are responsible for that event in your universe, and i’m not saying you caused it but rather you are not powerless to act upon it.
You can help or hinder if you wish, i suppose it’s an elaborate version of wishing someone luck. What i really like about this idea is that is helps to remind that we’re never alone that there is always some way that we are connected with everything that is, also that we are never powerless if we see something that we feel is wrong then take it as a hint that in your mind in this time that thing is wrong and you can do something about it.
Nothings out of our hands, not world events or global disasters and certianly not our own emotions and experiances. A lot of the time I used to feel insignificant or unable to interact with any-thing or one around me in any useful way but now more and more i’m aware that thats just not true, it’s never been true, as a point of perception we are given the chance to create, and what we can create is unlimited.
Comments (11)
I hear about people being lonely all the time. I sometimes feel lonely, but I usually take comfort in it. (Mainly because I know it’ll pass just as quickly as the feeling came) When I hate feeling lonely or isolated is when I’m around people, despite my best efforts to join in, in whatever is going on. haha. I am just an odd ball. But I always find that smiling, lights up everyone. So I make it a habit to do so when I greet people in passing. (total strangers) They light up almost instantly and might actually have a small chit chat for about 10 seconds.
Surprisingly, with my out-there, outgoing, intense-friendly personality I spend a lot of time alone. Sometimes in that alone-ness I feel lonely. Other times I take comfort in it. Because I have no interactions with humans that day I am spared being hurt, and I’m spared letting someone down. The worst feeling to me, and it happens a lot, is being in a group or even a crowd of people and feeling out of place, “I don’t belong”, feeling lonely. That really sucks.
But then sometimes I think loneliness is a choice. We can chose to stay tucked within and feel lonely, or we can get out there and engage people, who in their hearts they are probably lonely, too. When I’m in public I tend to engage strangers…with smiles, holding a door for them, talking to them, asking them questions. This makes me feel less alone. 
GREAT post, Bede! I love what you shared here. You’ve encouraged me and made me smile. Hey, did I thank you for that sweet post recently?
I’m still smiling about that. HUGS!
Funny… I just wrote a similar post to this… makes me think maybe Someone’s trying to get my attention. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
@ALovingAdversary - Hehe yeah I quite like feeling odd myself, one of my favorite compliments was when my cousin said with total bewliderment “Your just sooo weird!”
@adamswomanlost - I can certianly relate to that, crowds are definately not my cup of tea they tend to make me nervous, but it is nice to make eye contact with people sometimes and really connect even just for a moment everyone is so used to closing off.
And yes it’s totally a choice i think if we are aware we find that there’s always someone or something out there.
And no i don’t re-call you saying thank you recently?
haha Your welcome I still think about the responce it got and smile everynow and then 
@Passionflwr86 - Cool i’ll check it out
@BFB1131 - Oh yes! One of my favorites was “You are the strangest character I have ever come across.” I do like those best. ^_^
I get this more than you know
Love that picture! Is that you again?
I had never heard of that Hawaiian Ho’oponopono (just typing the world makes me laugh!). But it is interesting. And I like to think you’re right, that we can do and create whatever we want to.
In cognitive behaviour therapy my therapist teaches me that there are two things 1) your thoughts (feeling lonely in this case) and 2) being alone (having no one around).
It is strange because realizing those two have helped me overcome many panic attacks and anxious feelings but this being alone seems to be something so different than all of that.
Have a good day,
I think we all feel like that at times. If you feel comfortable avoiding groups and such that that’s fine. If you prefer being on your own, that’s fine. Doing what makes you feel comfortable is what is important. But if you are feeling lonely then maybe you could try branching out of your comfort zone, you might like it.
@jennylovve - :) thanks for the comment.
@Days_likethis - Yeah thats me taken by my broski, and Ho’oponopono is really facinating and comforting…..but it’s also a pretty funny word lol
Hope your day was good too
@Margo73 - Yeah it’s when i do so and then suddenly realise why i like my comfort zone that things get tricky lol
Believe me, I live in my little bubble (my comfort zone), and I rarely go out it but have fun when I do because I know I can just jump back in my bubble again!
Sadness is beautiful. Loneliness is beautiful. Sadness and loneliness are beautiful because both will make room and space for some deep thinking and self-meditation.