December 13, 2010

• Horror and Innocence:

  

  This song by Avril Lavigne always makes me a bit sad because it gets me thinking about Innocence and how it changes.
  But it’s also hopeful because as much as we may feel like we’re loosing our Innocence I don’t think it’s ever entirely gone when we love and laugh and truly enjoy something we can all feel like children again.

  Waking up I see that everything is ok
  The first time in my life and now it’s so great
  Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
  I think about the little things that make life great
  I wouldn’t change a thing about it
  This is the best feeling

  This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
  This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
  And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

  I found a place so safe, not a single tear
  The first time in my life and now it’s so clear
  Feel calm I belong, I’m so happy here
  It’s so strong and now I let myself be sincere
  I wouldn’t change a thing about it
  This is the best feeling

  This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
  This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
  And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

  It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
  It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
  It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

  It’s the state of bliss you think you’re dreaming
  It’s the happiness inside that you’re feeling
  It’s so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

  It’s so beautiful it makes you want to cry

  This innocence is brilliant, it makes you want to cry
  This innocence is brilliance, please don’t go away
  Cause I need you now
  And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by

  This innocence is brilliant, I hope that it will stay
  This moment is perfect, please don’t go away, I need you now
  And I’ll hold on to it, don’t you let it pass you by
   

  When I was young we lived in a caravan. Eventually we moved into a house near the caravan that we rebuilt, but for ages our TV was still in the Caravan which meant to watch a film we had to walk up from the house through the gate and then maybe 30 ft to the caravan.

  Even with all that distance and the fact that it was a film, The Bodysnatchers was so scary to my young mind that I couldn’t sleep and was really genuinely scared while it was on and being watched by my dad and brother (my mum was with me )
  It was as if just by its existence somekind of portal was open to the Bodysnatcher world.

  Later on it was games such as the very early Doom pc game that I couldn’t even be in the same room as when it was being played because it was ‘too scary’ .
  And it was years before I could watch the Alien films, and they have inspired some spectacular nightmares even when they were on but I didn’t watch.

  But as I’ve gotten older and watched more horror films and more effectively played more horror games my tolerance has gotten stronger and stronger, and this is sort of interesting/bothering to me.

  From not being able to be in the same building as something horrific to regularly playing games that would almost certainly have sent young me into paralytic shock.

  I didn’t even like Horror games for ages but recently I’ve gotten quite into them and been able to observe the change of tolerance first hand and in a short space of time.
  The game DeadSpace for example is a very scary and gruesome sci-fi horror game that even a couple years ago I would never have dreamed of playing on my own. But now not only do I play it on my own…at night…but the graphic violence and regular surprises and shocks don’t really effect me as much as they used to, it’s actually quite a shame because the fear produced by a horror game helps to boost the reality of the world and you can get much more engrossed by a horror themed game than other types.

  But as I continue playing the effects get less and less, it’s the same with films the more scary films you see the less they start to effect you. The only thing that really gets to me now horror wise is either psychological horror or the very strange such as the ‘Ring’ Monster.

  Now I’m not saying this is a bad thing or a good thing its just something that’s interesting. We humans adapt we’re really good at it, but what dose it mean?

  What effect is this having on me?
  In games I by now must have killed well over several hundred thousand sprites in various forms, I know that visualisation is a powerful tool and that the unconscious can’t actually tell the difference between imagination and ‘reality’ so dose this mean I am in some way a veteran of war?
  I doubt it because I don’t suffer from any of the usual side effects of PTSD for example but its an interesting thought what is it that a life of TV and computer games is doing to the minds of so many people?

  A lot of people would like to get up in arms and say violence in TV and Computer games is wrong, and to an extent I agree violence such as seen in GTA, Manhunt and other ugly or unnecessarily violent games or gruesome, dark and miserable films like the Kill bill films or SinCity I really don’t think that serves any purpose other than being violent and nasty…but I’m sure there are many arguments to the contrary.
  My main point is that I really think it’s not so much the images and content but the way you are interacting with it. If you’re spending your time torturing the baddies in a game or revelling in the sense of violence and aggression in a film like SinCity…then maybe that’s not doing you much good.
  But if you’re appreciating the need for that particular theme or enjoying the stylistic approach or even just enjoying that whole horror and violence ‘mood’ then that’s going to be alright just make sure your not ‘living’ it and carrying it with you.

  We are adaptive and it will have an effect, just like me and horror games, I can’t go back to being scared by Alien but I also don’t think that I’m any closer to getting a gun or axe and making my own horror film come true.
  The thing is you can’t or I don’t think you should hide from any experience, that’s not to say you should go out and seek things that make you uncomfortable just don’t do it for the wrong reasons I suppose.

  I really enjoy Horror games, the fact is if I’m going to intentionally scare myself then I’d prefer to be well armed rather than just sitting watching a film. But I try to make sure not to fill my mind with the darker or violent things predominantly and not so much just before bed for example, no longer out of fear but simply because even when your enjoying it Violence and horror is what it is.

  Not sure what the point of all that is TBH other than just to remind everyone to keep a bit of innocence around because it’s Brilliant

  • 3:00 pm
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